A variety of amazing things has happened this evening. First of all, I feel rejuvenated and inspired to begin my teaching career now that I have profiled a variety of hiring school districts and have begun the application process. It was a daunting task at first, but I feel like my day was extremely productive since I polished my resume, completed three cover letters, and submitted my materials to the following school districts: Kimberly, Stanley-Boyd, and Wittenberg-Birnamwood. A big "thank you" to my wonderful mom, who gave countless motivational speeches and "I will stay on your ass until you apply to schools" rants when I was too wrapped up in my emotional turmoil to see clearly into future prospects; the process of job applications is causing additional work, but also pulled me from my slump by giving me things to accomplish :) I looked on the state website for recent job posting and I found a listing for a middle school language arts position in Seymour, so I could stay close to home for awhile longer (and I absolutely LOVE middle school students!)
And even though all of these accomplishments has breathed life back into my spirit, the one miraculous event that happened tonight is that I found my purpose for student teaching at Navrachana International School: I'm here to impact a particular student's life.
After dinner I was walking back to my hostel with a group of students and one seventh grade girl, Yamini, asked me for help with her study materials for biology (why she requested my assistance in this subject area is beyond me LOL) and in the course of our discussion we were kindly interrupted by another seventh grade student, Karan. It is Karan's birthday today and he carried a huge tray of extra cake and asked if I wanted another piece; I hesitantly refused and inquired after his day. Karan cast his eyes to the ground and struggled against the forming frown; he quietly stated that half of the day was good and half of it was bad because he cried. Concerned with this answer I asked for an explanation for the tears shed on his day of celebration. Karan bluntly stated that it was due to the visit of his parents this afternoon, forced a smile, and turned away with a warm, "Goodnight, Hannah Ma'am. See you tomorrow!"
Yamini stayed by my side throughout the entire conversation with Karan and as he walked away I felt the weight of seriousness fall over her tiny body and could see the lines of worry on her face through the dark. She turned to me and confessed her knowledge that Karan's parents were called to campus because he had attempted to commit suicide twice over the past two days: he first attempted to jump from the third story of the hostel; then today, on his birthday, he tied a long tie around the ceiling fan in his room and constructed a loop with the other end and tried to hang himself. Yamini explained that Karan has been suffering extreme ridicule and physical and verbal abuse from a group of seventh grade boys and one girl; these bullies harass Karan for his poor academics and call him names in Hindi that mean, "common farmer" to demean Karan and cast him into a lower social class.
I had two immediate thoughts when I heard this news:
1) I have been floundering in doubt for why I was drawn to teach in India and now I have found my purpose in helping Karan battle the issue of bullying and discover self-assurance in his talents
2) I questioned Yamini about the main bully, Dillan, because through her description he seemed like he held a burning ball of anger lodged in his chest at all times. I reflected on my own fire ball that I hurled around my broken home when I was a teenager (and into my early twenties) and inquired about Dillan's own home life. Yamini described his parents as extremely busy, detached, and noted that Dillan only traveled back home for a few days a year. With this information I thought that Dillan needed guidance as well to help him realize the root of his anger and deal with it in a way that does not hurt others.
Navrachana International School needs a thorough cleanse and remedies to heal the students' hearts.
My heart shred into paper-thin slices at this devastating news about campus bullying, but the knife that was doing the cutting was hearing Yamini speak of the inaction about this matter. In her perspective, the seventh grade English teacher, Sandhya, gave a short, stern lecture about bullying, which ceased the harassment for that day, but brewed and spilt over on Karan the following day. The school counselors have also been made aware of the bullying and have confronted the accused, which revved their revenge and create a more hostile environment for this boy. And so Karan endures, cries, and tries to end his suffering, because he will continue to be a boarder of NISV for at least another three to five years.
I was absolutely stunned to discover this dynamic of Navrachana International School. The Karan that I see everyday holds the entire world in his large brown eyes, bursting with energy and smiles in my presence. But perhaps, this demeanor is because he knows that I will not only be his teacher, but his confidant and his support system. Suddenly it does not matter anymore if I never leave campus again or am confined to my room, as long as I can help Karan and make this school a safe and inviting place for him to learn and make friends. It is completely against my nature to stand by idly as the innocent are trampled, so it is my new mission - my purpose - to be the voice for those who are afraid to speak out or cannot find the right words and help them to eventually find their own voice. Since I do not have any experience in counseling services, I plan to gather my resources and contacts back home who have more knowledge and insight about this sensitive issue, while also talking to NISV services about their policies for bullying. I may also inquire about changing my original theatre workshop to be mandatory for the entire seventh grade and build a workshop curriculum around this serious issue.
I'm not here to "save" anyone, but help in any way that I can because I truly and unconditionally care about the wellbeing of each and every one of these kids - and that is why I am a teacher.
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